The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
