i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
