Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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