Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
