WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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