I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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