STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
