On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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