She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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