There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
