Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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