I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
