names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
