you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize