Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
