so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Randomize
