nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
