Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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