I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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