so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize