On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
