She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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