so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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