it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
