even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
