evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
