Where is the hickey?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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