I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
