how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
