I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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