no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
