last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
