Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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