Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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