Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
