Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
