i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
