hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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