community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
