i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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