I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
accomplished twins. life is a go
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
