i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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