margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
