we're blogging at a bar
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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