If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize