i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
