We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
