I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
