if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
