If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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