I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
