Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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