I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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