i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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