i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
