tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize