WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize