Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
