: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
