Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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