I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize