it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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